I started my first bullet journal at the beginning of 2017 and I fell in love with the system immediately. I thought I had achieved planner peace. Clearly I was wrong and here’s why:

Back-story

First, let me give a little backstory on my history with planning.

I had never really been someone who consistently used planners until I got to university. There I started using my Typo diaries instead of just lugging them around like a pretty accessory. I couldn’t get by with doing assignments the day before or quickly rushing off homework during lunch, like I used to at school. There was simply too much to do.

So after a while of using Typo diaries I somehow managed to get sucked into the world of Planners on YouTube. The rainbows of stationery and notebooks were too much to resist. I desperately wanted to be a part of that elite club of people who called themselves Planners. I was getting my life in order, so why not make it pretty too?

Perfectionism is the satin-lined casket of creativity and originality.

I ended up desperately wanting a Life Planner so I got one on my trip to America in 2016. It was gorgeous and exactly what I wanted. Or so I thought.

The planner didn’t last too long after that. There were stickers and tabs and so much going on, that it was half too pretty for me to actually use. I stresses out about every sticker placement and whether my handwriting was going to ruin it. The Life Planner was enormous and clunky and even needed a special case. The layout was too rigid and small and it just didn’t work as well as the slim, bound journal that I was used to.

Bujo nouveau

Here is where the Bullet Journal made it’s first appearance. I came across Ryder Carroll’s video about the concept and I was immediately intrigued. What followed was a whirlwind of everything from Pinterest to Boho Berry. I didn’t think I could start a Bullet Journal but on a whim I did it anyway. In the first week of January 2017, I embarked on my Bullet Journal journey for the first time. I used a regular Buffalo Notebook that was similar to the Diaries I was used to and I wrote down everything I could remember from those bullet journal videos I had watched so many months ago. The bound notebook suited me better than the ring-bound Life Binder that eventually lay forgotten, as I enjoyed exploring my new-found toy.

I fell in love with the adventures that every blank page brought with it. I soon realised that I had been making Collections in notebooks for years but in a highly disorganised fashion. By putting them into my bullet journal I could keep track of my ever-changing thoughts and make to-do lists that I actually wanted to complete. I had extra room for my university schedule and I didn’t feel bad about skipping a week by accident. I tried new spreads and began to practice hand-lettering. My love for stationery grew and so did my taste for expensive notebooks.

I was officially in love with bullet journaling and I wanted more. I purchased lettering pens and even received my first fountain pen as a gift. I wanted to write in cursive again and I practiced every single day. After filling up my second consecutive Buffalo Journal, I wanted to try out the dot-grid books that everyone had been raving about on the internet. I ordered a purple Leuchtturm1917 and I was over the moon when it arrived at my doorstep. Those little dots on the irresistibly smooth pages are so satisfying and I don’t know how I managed without them. Everything automatically just looks better too.

Obsession and overload

For this new notebook I wanted everything to be perfect. I planned out my pages in pencil and I stuck sticky-notes to mark where my collections were to go.  I became obsessed with how my bullet journal looked. I wanted to post pictures and videos online, and I couldn’t let anything be ugly or rough-looking.

Every month I had to have: a cover page, a quote, a colour scheme, a monthly layout, identical weekly spreads. Eventually, my bullet journal ended up looking like a hand-drawn planner that you can buy in a store. In-between all this I also discovered digital planning and it opened up a whole new world. I could copy and paste picture from the internet whenever I pleased. I could use a font to type out headings and save time with hand-lettering. The undo button is a life saver too. But what of my paper journal you ask?

I still kept drawing out spreads every month, but my weekly pages became smaller and I used it to keep track of important deadlines. My to-dos had all moved to my digital planner. Eventually it started looking like a Typo diary and I stopped wanting to put in the effort of drawing out these pages every month. There’s no point when I can simply buy one in the store.

Funny, the damage a silly little book can do…

This all lead to some kind of panic response. I didn’t want to give up my bullet journal but I still wanted to but a diary and keep using my digital journal. But then I couldn’t decide which kind of diary I wanted to buy for 2019 so I wanted to test out different planning methods in the meantime. I bought a cheap book to write down my daily schedule and I kept using my regular bujo for my deadlines. I also wrote down monthly to-dos in my bujo and used my digital planner for monthly planning, weekly scheduling and daily to-dos. This probably sounds confusing and even I don’t know what I’m saying anymore, so you can see why I started panicking.

I couldn’t keep track of everything I had to do and where I was writing what. I was back to being all over the place again and my mental health was suffering. Just from changing up my planning routine. Who would’ve thought.

Remebering

Then a couple of weeks ago I came across my very first bullet journal and I remembered why I started and how I felt. I want to go back to not caring about the aesthetic side of things or planning out a perfect layout. I want to stop bullet journaling, because what I am doing right now is not bullet journaling. I have lost my way and I desperately want to find it again.

I will do this by starting over. I recently got my hands on The Bullet Journal Method by the original creator of the Bullet Journal system. I am hoping that after reading this book in the next few weeks I will rediscover the beauty of bullet journaling and be able to start anew.

Wish me luck

xoxo

Binx Thinx