Where It All Began…

When I was a little girl I used to be fascinated by libraries. I’m a book lover, so naturally, a room full of books was a dream come true. Bookshops have a similar appeal and I could spend hours and hours just paging through my Wishlist and dreaming of taking them home with me.

Books have always been something sacred to me. The stories inside them had the power to take me to different worlds, so of course they meant a lot to me.  I would read whenever I could, doing anything to escape reality. Eventually my mother told me I would have to start buying my own books soon because of how quickly I read. It wasn’t worth spending nearly R200.00 on a book that would only last a day or two, she said.

The beauty of the school library was that I was allowed to read any books that my heart desired. It also meant that I was able to journey to a few more fantastic places without my mom shaking her head about how much it would cost. I was a bit upset at the fact that I had to take them back again, but I learned to live with it, and I would take out stacks and stack of books from the library whenever I had the chance.

I spent so much time in there that I even started working in the library during break times and after school. It also happened to be my safe place away from the boys who teased me. High-school was pretty confusing and lonely sometimes, so the bookshelves were a very welcome escape.

Even though I loved my school’s library, it was not the first one I was acquainted with. When I was younger, my grandmother took my sister and I to her local library.  She allowed each of us to borrow a couple of books, and it was magical. Before that, I had a bit of a germaphobic fear when it came to libraries – like my fear of public swimming pools. But the lure of the unread stories won in the end.

Reality Won…For the Moment

Sadly, I went through a period of abstaining from reading unintentionally.

When I moved to a new school in Grade 10, the absence of a library meant that I had to find a different kind of sanctuary. My safe place became the Dance Studio, as it was where I spent the majority of my time. Sadly I also started reading less and less. It was almost as if I had left a part of myself buried in the past, just waiting until she could safely reenter reality.

When I left high school I moved overseas to the UAE. There was a purely academic library and my friends had absolutely no desire to set foot in there, so I didn’t either. For my last few years of high school and the beginning of university, I became very caught up in real world drama. I probably felt like reality was adventure enough, and even though I tried reading multiple times, nothing stuck.

I only started reading again at the end of 2016. That marked around four or five years without finishing a single book. Then something changed and I was back with a bang. Last year alone I read over 100 books and my goal is even higher this year. I fell back in love with the written word and it has been above affair of note.

A Happy Ending!

Why the sudden reminiscing you ask? Well, a couple of weeks ago I walked into a public library for the first time in over a decade. It was kind of surreal. I had been reading A Series of Unfortunate Events for the past few weeks and it made me want to go to a library again.

In all of the books they managed to find a library of some kind and it helped them get out of their unfortunate situations each time. With every book that I finished, the more the yearning grew. I discovered a library just up the road and dragged my sister along.

When we walked inside I immediately felt at peace. I didn’t realise that something had been missing for a very long time inside my heart and here it was. Memories came rushing in all at once and I nearly started crying right then and there.

I remembered all the friends I made at school who loved books just as much as I did, I used to love walking through the books with them and finding new stories for the weekend. I remembered reading with my Grandma on rainy afternoons in the summer holidays, with a cup of tea and a slice of toast next to each of us.

I remembered covering book after book and putting stickers inside the covers and documenting them in the library system. The calming repetitive motions and being surrounded by books was a dream come true (and of course STICKERS!).

I didn’t expect to remember so much of my childhood, just from walking into a library. It’s not like I haven’t been in my university libraries (all three of them, numerous times) but somehow it just wasn’t the same. University made reading feel like a chore and I nearly became one of those people who dread getting reading for homework. Luckily I finally managed to change my mindset about Uni readings at the beginning of this semester, and I even enjoy them now sometimes.

It was a Peter Pan moment for sure. I was back in Neverland and I realised that I didn’t have to grow up if I didn’t want to. In a Library I can stay youthful for the rest of my life and go on adventures whenever I please.

Growing up doesn’t have to mean forgetting about your dreams and things that you used to love. There is space for what makes you happy – adulthood isn’t a chore, it just has a few more degrees of freedom and responsibility.

Rest assured I will be returning my Library books on time and making frequent visits in the future. I would also like to get more involved, but we shall see what the future has in store.

Until next time

xoxo

Keep thinking, Inklings!