A Very Merry Unbirthday To Me

Okay, so it has been quite some time since I have put my thoughts into words. Last month I turned 22 and it sent me into a bit of an existential spiral – so please forgive my lack of postings.

Ever since the week before my birthday I have been having a lot of thoughts about my progress in life. It all seemed to be tumbling down around me and suddenly I was going to be aging rapidly and my life would be over before I knew it. I started to worry about finishing university and getting a job. I was afraid my parents would want me to get married and have kids very soon, and I don’t even have a boyfriend right now. It was as if I was Jenna in 13 Going on 30.  A child in the body of an adult, and I had wished to be grown up, not knowing everything that entailed. Down the rabbit hole indeed.

13 Going on 30 Trailer

(For those of you who haven’t seen the movie – it’s one of my favourite rom-coms and it has a  lesson or two.)

There are three hundred and sixty four days when you might get unbirthday presents, and only one for birthday presents, you know.  – Lewis Carol

 

Unbirthdays

To think that something as insignificant as a date on the calendar could send my brain into such an overdrive. I am thankful for my little episode though. Even though I was highly stressed out, I managed to learn a lot about myself in the process. I realized that every single day marked time passing and my birthday just meant that another 365 days have been spent since I have been alive. Every new day has just as much significance and possibilities for change as the next. Just because I am 22 doesn’t mean that I have to do anything I’m not ready for. I am perfectly okay with the pace of my life.

Taylor Swift – 22

For the past 3 months, I have been doing a lot of university work and finishing my TEFL course. Currently, I have 2 assignments for uni, 2 for TEFL, 2 quizzes and 2 exams to finish in the next 2 weeks. So this is a bit of a cheeky blog break, but I had a few things on my mind so why not write about it. This is something I do want to do more – blogging without feeling guilty or like I’m wasting my time. Writing is something that is important to me too, and it’s not a waste of time – I’m only 22 and I have plenty of time.

Through The Looking Glass

I can spend hours on social media depressing myself by comparing myself to others. Girls I went to school with are pregnant or married. Girls younger than me have successful careers and businesses. It is easy to forget that social media shows only a scratch on the surface. It doesn’t show the all-nighters or the panic attacks in the elevators or the heartbreaks or the eating disorders or anything else they don’t want you to see. Nobody has a perfect life without the sweat and tears it took to get there – and even then they have bad days.

I am focussing on finishing this degree and getting a job. I’m also working on an exciting project and maintaining a blog and planning a book and learning French and reading books and I can go on. I am making progress. There is so much I want to do and I spend too much time worrying about not having enough time to do it in, instead of actually doing it all. Sometimes everything gets a bit much. I am inclined to become overwhelmed when I have too much on my plate and then everything becomes a bit topsy-turvy.

I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then. – Lewis Carol

Pink – Just Like Fire

Everyone’s journey is different and so are their struggles. Comparing your journey to someone else’s does you no good, especially when it comes to your mental health and just a general peace of mind. There are so many ways to keep yourself going, you just need to find the right motivation for you. I’ve really enjoyed spending time with my friends and focussing on things I love like reading in my free time. Spending time with people has also lead to a series of thought-provoking conversations – often in the middle of the night – which have given me a kickstart in some aspects. My new puppies have also helped a lot in keeping my spirits up and staying active. Running after them has kept me quite busy. Having little beings who rely on me to take care of them is a massive responsibility, and a rather large wake-up call to take care of myself too.

We’re All Mad Here

Lately, I have been finding more people who inspire me. One of my relatively recent role-models is Zoella. She is someone who has achieved her own version of a perfect life with a lot of hard work. She has a successful career on YouTube and bestselling books and beauty and lifestyle ranges. It all started with her making videos in her room. At the time she probably never imagined her passion for making videos would lead to the life she is currently living. Even so, she still struggles with anxiety and panic attacks and she is often quite forthcoming with how she handles it and she and her boyfriend Alfie both see therapists weekly. They make an effort to take care of their mental wellbeing.

A fanmade video about Zoella.

This is something I genuinely admire and find inspirational. At the time of my existential crisis, I let even this freak me out. I was suddenly comparing my progress to hers and feeling adamant that I would never be as successful as she is at 28. That’s only 6 years away after all. And what have I done in the past 6 years?

You are never too old to set a new goal, or dream a new dream. – C.S. Lewis

When I thought about it, I actually discovered I had achieved a great deal. I moved schools, learned at least 3 new styles of dance, started learning French, graduated from high school, moved to Dubai, stopped dancing, started university, discovered a love for yoga, moved to a different university, started bullet journaling, started blogging, started writing again, made a LOT of new friends, and I can go on.  To some people that might not seem like much, but to me, it is quite a lot. There were a lot of ups and downs and lot of times where I just wanted to give up and drop out. But I pushed through.

In the next 6 years, I am perfectly capable of achieving a lot too. It will just be at my own pace and on a different path to anyone else’s. And that’s okay. I am happy with my journey and I am confident that I will meet more wonderful and inspiring people along the way.  A week or so ago I watched a TEDTalk by Dottie James and I fell in love. She is one of my most recent role models and I absolutely adore her. If you have the time, here is her TEDTalk on success.

For anyone feeling down about where they are right now, just take a couple of minutes to think about what you’ve done in the past couple of years and you might be surprised at what you find. Never stop chasing your dreams and just get up and go for it.

Lots of Love

Xoxo

Binx

P.S. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for wearing a Mickey Mouse shirt to breakfast!

Follow my blog on:

WordPress:

Follow Binx Thinx on WordPress.com

BlogLovin:

Follow my blog with Bloglovin