Over the course of about five hours, I have typed the beginning of this post at least ten times and then erased it all soon after. There’s just so much floating around inside my head that I’m simply not happy with anything. I just went and erased three sentences again before getting this one typed up. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Maybe if I just keep at it, some mystical force of creativity will take over and produce the best blog post I have written to date. No such luck I’m afraid. I’ll just have to sit here on my bed at my desk (okay it’s a desk on my bed Mekay, you caught me) until I manage to write a solid paragraph.

Wait. Can it be? It is. There is the first paragraph. It’s very possibly utter nonsense but it’s a paragraph just the same. Here is the second paragraph and it’s like it’s forming itself. Add to that the fact that it’s more than I’ve written the whole week and it’s a job well done. These past two months I have been rereading Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert and I’ve also been listening to her podcast Magic Lessons.

As I’m writing this, I’m listening to the last six minutes of the very last Magic Lesson, and I am still stunned by some of the conversations that I have had the absolute privilege to be privy to. My soul is so moved every single time I come across these little parts of magic in the world and I am eternally grateful that I am alive in the midst of the Technology Age. The fact that I can listen to intimate conversations between some of my biggest role models is just so completely unbelievable and simultaneously awe inspiring.

I read the book for the first time about two years ago and I absolutely loved it. About one quarter into the book I started dating someone who didn’t exactly agree with Ms Gilbert’s views on creativity and ideas. He was a creative spirit too, but he approached the creative process in a drastically different way. He thrived on pain – the classic tortured-artist.  After that and a few other events in my life, my approach to creativity took a turn. I produced a lot of work that unintentionally let my emotions seep through. Emotions I didn’t even realise I was having until I reread my words and read between the lines. What they say about writing revealing hidden truths is scary in its accuracy.

I just deleted two paragraphs that were going off on a tangent after rereading them. I do this in normal conversation a lot and I wish there was a delete button for that too sometimes. That is part of the beauty of writing – the ability to edit your work. You can erase whole sentences or pages before they break free into the world. I caught myself just before I headed down that familiar road of reveling in melancholy. I’d like to try the road-less-traveled this time ’round instead. This is another reason why I have been loving the book and podcast so much. Looking at it all again after two years with a new perspective has really made an enormous difference in my mindset and my desire to create. Focusing on writing instead of being a writer is my new strategy.

This stems from one of the many helpful little nuggets of inspiration that Ms Gilbert leaves in her wake. She encourages her ‘students’ to write, even if it’s bad, because a bad page can be edited but a blank one cannot. This has stuck with me for the past few days and I have been itching to write something down, even it it turns out to be complete rubbish. You are currently reading the final product and it’s not a blank page, so I’d say it’s been mildly successful.

This has turned into a partial review of the book and podcast, and that was not my intention. Recently I have not been writing reviews as I began to feel creatively-stifled. I don’t really see myself as a book reviewer. I book reader and amateur writer yes, but I don’t particularly enjoy reviewing them. I don’t think I’ve had enough experience writing to be comfortable enough to critique the work of successful authors, so I feel like what I do is more of a reflection than an actual review. So I decided to stop reviewing books  for now and just read them instead, because that is what I love about them after-all. The journeys they take me on to different realms, and the people they allow me to meet or morph into. In the midst of rereading my childhood favourites I realised I had surpassed my reading goal for the year and I have nearly doubled it.

The last bit of advice I would like to thank Ms Gilbert for is this: write for yourself not for others. Essentially she tells you to write the story you need to tell, not the story you think others need to hear. When I heard this I immediately saw this in myself. I had been trying to think of things to write that other people would want to read, and it was making me anxious and miserable. I had ideas about posts that I thought people would want to read, but I’d just never get around to writing them. I’d rather write nonsense sentences full of metaphors that make absolutely no sense to anyone, than stress over a schedule and try alliterate my posts according to the day of the week. Unless I end up really wanting to write something, I won’t try force it.

Okay, I lied, here is the last part. She emphasises the importance of showing up for your writing otherwise inspiration will only every reach you in bursts here and there, or maybe even once and then never again. Dedication is as important as inspiration, if not more. So here is my attempt at dedication to my craft. I will continue to show up to an empty page and write until I have something that is editable or delete-able, just as long as I continue to write.

What are your thoughts on creativity and inspiration? I’d love to start a discussion about it.

Until the next blank page.

xoxo

Binx